On The Cover
by Cally Starkiller
Summary: When Shepard sees that Miranda has taken drastic measures to earn credits so that their daily need of supplies could be paid for, she has a plan. And that plan may involve her to take drastic measures as well.


**A oneshot.**

**I've been working on this for awhile. I wasn't so sure about it after it was almost done. **

**But seeing the trailer for Mass Effect 3 got me excited and a tiny bit inspired. **

**I dunno.**

**Anyways, here it is. **

**The answer to my writer's block.**

**Enjoy.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Shepard barely glanced over the reports, eyes glazed over with boredom, swinging her legs as she leaned back in her chair. Who knew that credits were a basic need in life? With a scowl, she tossed Miranda's report on needing alternate ways to earn more credits in order to support her spendy ways of buying new fish every week and multiple copies of Fornax.

With a sudden gasp, she quickly picked back up the holopad, reading its contents again. Fish…armor upgrades…Fornax. Did Miranda Lawson think that those magazines were for HER? Her eyes narrowed at no one in particular, her fist clenching up, and she sprinted out of her room and to the elevator. She grumbled to herself, pacing back and forth in the small space.

Right when the doors opened, she bursted out and nearly ran into poor Hawthorne. The man had enough with people throwing holopads at him, but to have the Commander herself push right by him…he had enough. Hawthorne swiveled around to face his Commander to say something but she had already disappeared around the corner.

Shepard was almost to Miranda's office right when she nearly slipped on a copy of the magazine itself. She curiously picked it up, the words 'Human Appearance' catching her eye. Shepard knew she only got these magazines merely for the crew, knowing that the lonely men and women needed a little entertainment no matter how sick the thought was. She turned to the page where it presented the human.

Shepard also knew that Fornax never presents any humans in it. Just alien xenophilla and rather crude images of asari and hanar. Shepard narrowed her eyes, the human appearance being made by Miranda Lawson herself. Frustrated and filled to the brim with annoyance, she whipped the magazine at Miranda's office door and stormed off back to her own cabin, hurrying to come up with ideas to get back at her second-in-command.

She checked all her spam messages and found that most of them were from the magazine itself, asking her if she would like to make an exclusive appearance for the magazine and that she'd be well compensated for it. Shepard nearly gulped but her eyebrows shot up and she grinned. If Miranda Lawson wanted credits…she'll get her credits.

* * *

"Yeah what is it?" A tired crappy looking receptionist asari was sitting in the front offices for the magazine, her eyes glazed over with disgust and her lips curled back staring down at various holopads, ignoring the person known as Commander Shepard.

"I've been getting numerous emails about coming down here to make an appearance?" Shepard said in a questioning voice, glancing around quickly, bending her head down low. She'd reveal she was Commander Shepard all in due time, only when they asked her. Paparazzi was not her thing.

"Name?" The asari said it automatically, raising up an empty holopad, waiting for Shepard's answer.

"Commander Shepard." Shepard said it with a tinge of a smirk, watching as the asari's face lit up with surprise and turn to her with wide eyes.

"C-Co-Commander Shepard! We uh, we didn't think you'd be making an appearance despite all of o-our emails!" The asari sounded more chipper, standing up quickly causing all of her holopads to rain down on her, walking out her tiny office to guide the smirking Commander to where she was needed.

"There there. Just like that. Hold still. Annnd…got it. Other position please." The twang sounded of a salarian, slightly high pitched and as Shepard turned the corner she blanched. The asari was rid of her garments and a hanar was…Shepard blinked, quickly finding an interesting spot to stare at on the floor.

"Mr. Dufrense?" The asari receptionist said beside her, clearly calling out to the salarian photographer who seemed too pleased to be doing this type of work. And here Shepard thought that salarian's sex drive were low. Maybe spending time enough around plenty of endowed asari could've changed this one's views.

"Yes yes what is it?" The salarian still didn't turn to acknowledge their presence, using his hands to gesture what the hanar should be doing. "Perfect…front cover."

"Its Commander Shepard." And that's all it took for the salarian to whirl around in surprise, his already big eyes bugging out and then narrowing at said Commander.

"Commander Shepard. Didn't think you'd be coming. I kept an outfit already picked out just in case you did come. And here you are. The infamous human. Back room is over there." The salarian couldn't help staring at her and not in an admiring type of way either. More of like a new play toy.

Shepard rolled her eyes, still disbelieving of her new 'screw tactic' to earn money and get Miranda off her back. Not in a hundred years would she find herself in such a lowly position. She slunk back into the room, a few mirrors occupied by several asari, their…'appearance' revolting. And here she was, right in the middle of it all.

She observed the place, ignoring the glances she was getting from the asari and pushed past them, heading toward where the numerous sets of extravagant clothes were at. Out of the corner of her eye she could've sworn she saw a familiar symbol.

N7. The outfit that bore the symbol was simply disrespectable. A…swimming suit. Nothing too revealing about it despite the fact that it would show off her Cerberus modified bust and her muscular legs. With a loud scoff, she held up the top to her own, already backtracking and thinking of ways to escape this sex driven place.

She could scowl and rant about this later but for now…it was for revenge.

With a disdainful frown Shepard grabbed the swim suit and backed into a well hidden corner and removed her clothing, then wondered if she could just go out there with just her N7 bra and boy shorts. Then again…that salarian could still think of ways to Photoshop it to make it look even more revealing.

This was humiliating. Pure amusement to whoever bought the damn pornographic magazine. The thought hadn't even reached her mind. Captain Anderson. What if he…she shook it off with a grunt and put on her swimming suit. There was no way anybody in the Alliance would happen to buy this particular issue of Fornax with her on the front cover…would it?

She tried shutting out thoughts that were eating at her conscious and looked over her appearance in the mirror. She frowned at how much of her bust was showing and tried adjusting it, still frowning at the end result. "I swear to God…"

Shepard left the threat hanging and exited the room, resisting the urge to wipe that Salarian smirk off his face. "Wonderful. More then I dreamed of. Can you sit there Commander Shepard?"

Shepard looked to where he was pointing and just barely made her way there, not sitting down and instead standing up. The salarian just frowned a little, adjusting the holocam and got up at an angle that made Shepard slightly uncomfortable. She gave an eyebrow raise at the cam, a small scowl present, and then the salarian went, "Aha! I got it."

He scurried off and Shepard heaved a sigh, letting her tense shoulders rest for a moment, crossing her arms. He came back a moment later, holding a pistol out straight at her. Shepard backed up a little, eyes staring directly at the pistol and noticed its safety was off. She couldn't help but feel a little insecure but then the salarian handed it to her.

"What…?" Shepard said a little dumbly, looking over the pistol.

"Don't worry. No heat sinks in it. I want you to pose with it. Like this." The salarian held up his arm, pretending to hold a gun up. Shepard grumbled, doing as he directed.

"Ridiculous." Shepard mumbled under her breath, giving the same quirk of her eyebrow and a small scowl. A bright light flashed and she grumbled more, even as the salarian was praising her on her 'good looks' for human.

"Kill me now." Shepard muttered. But she knew the look of horror and sheer surprise on Miranda's pretty face would be worth the prize of being magazine paparazzi.

* * *

Its been days since the photo shoot and she couldn't bear it anymore. Fornax had better already have the magazine up for print. But then again, she wasn't sure if she wanted to see her own scarred body up on the front cover for every twisted pervert to see.

Shepard paced in her small cabin room, feeling anxious and stupid. Anxious because she wasn't sure she wanted a lecture call from Anderson. Stupid because she gave up her 'precious' dignity for a pornographic magazine company. She gave a small chuckle at that.

That's it. They were going to Omega. She was going to that same batarian who sold her that very first copy of Fornax she had purchased and was going to get the new issue. "EDI. Tell Joker to divert our course to Omega. We got some unfinished business to take care of." Shepard said in a commanding voice, pretending to make a mission out of it.

"Course diverted Shepard." EDI said after a few moments and then blinked, her blue orb gone from her console.

* * *

"We'll have the latest issue of Fornax mailed to your ship by the hour." The batarian said out of instinct, not even looking up to acknowledge Shepard's presence when she asked for the magazine.

"Great…" Shepard muttered. She had to wait another hour…and hour before she could the new face of the cover of the magazine. It was all very stressing and she knew that if the shipment went to their ship first without her being there, she would miss the grand finale and satisfaction of seeing Miranda's precious little face.

A beep had sounded from her omni-tool and she opened the new email message, subject: On the Cover.

_Commander Shepard,_

_We would like to thank you once again for participating in our recent photo shoot with you. It was an honor to say the least. There was quite an argument over whether to gloat over the fact that we had Commander Shepard actually show up to 'pretty herself up' for something that most people would say is demeaning and inappropriate. Or to rather publish a honorary article about you and make it more colorful and honest. _

_You'll see for yourself once you purchase a copy. _

_-CEO of Fornax Company_

_PS: The transfer of credits for your services has been uploaded to your personal account. _

Shepard had been reading the email for the past hour, rereading and breaking it down into simpler terms. So did they make her up to seem like some sort of 'sex toy' to be gawked at? Or did they…

Shepard had to find out now.

…

_Commander Shepard: Underneath It All _

_Article written by Lance Thrace. _

_As you have all seen, the infamous human known as Commander Shepard has appeared on our front cover. This is the first time a human has even done such a feat aside from one Miss Lawson who only appeared in a small advertisement which was published within our magazine. _

_Most military symbols or anyone within the Alliance would never have thought of being in our magazine which was made to entertain people of most species. However, Shepard, by this one act, clearly states that she's not better then the rest of us and nor is any one of us beneath her. Apparently she'll do anything for civvies. Whether it be to protect our lives on a daily basis or merely being the cover of a 'pornographic magazine'. _

_So here she is readers and views of our Fornax magazine…Commander Shepard, scars and all. _

…

_Commander Shepard: Who She Really Is _

_Article written by Leonard Rand. _

_Who is Commander Shepard? For one, she is a remarkable woman who's military and Earthborn history sets her apart from many others. But who is she now? Do we dare still think of her as that iconic symbol of hope? Or someone who is now accepting invites to be a part of Fornax magazine and whoring around on Omega? I'd like to think the latter for it is true. _

_But here she is now people. Enjoy the view and please subscribe to our magazine for further issues._

…

After Miranda Lawson got done reading the two opinion articles on Shepard she threw the magazine at the wall, immediately knowing why the Commander had done it and spoke into the intercom loudly, "Commander Shepard!"


End file.
